May 2015 #Horoscopes – by Mona ‘Star Child’ Alps

TaurusTaurus (April 20- May 20): Surprise, surprise, you’re feeling a little bit stubborn this month. Normally I would tell you to pull your horns in, but, it’s your birthday. You get to carry on just how you like for at least one day this month, and don’t you let anyone else forget it.

 

Gemini (May 21- June 20): Emotions are running high this month. You’re hot and you’re cold and no one can quite figure you out. Not even you. Here’s the thing, it is okay to be confused once in a while. So just kick back, relax and read a good book.

 

Cancer (June 21- Jul 22): Nothing is so bad that it cannot be solved with a hot bath and a hot cup of tea. Time to soak the sooks away. May is your month of serenity, so grab an extra-large cup and meditate.

 

Leo (Jul 23- Aug 22): Bitten off more than you can chew? Of course you have, you’re a Leo. Time to swallow with a smile and pretend you meant it all along. Promise me you’ll relax next month though!

 

Virgo (Aug 23- Sept 22): Why so serious? Go outdoors, play a game, have lunch with a friend. Seriously, drop work for a minute and just do something for fun. Dance like you’re a kid.

 

Libra (Sept 23- Oct 22): Feeling a little blue? People not doing what you want? Time to hermit it up for a month. Just shut down, close your eyes and relax the month away with some spicy reading. People and problems can wait.

 

Scorpio (Oct 23- Nov 21): Relax. All I can say is relax. Sail away on a little pleasure boat in your own mind. Take a reading getaway and don’t sweat the small stuff.

 

Sagittarius (Nov 22- Dec21): Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. Sometimes even the most glamorous tasks get repetitive. Try something new. Forget to wear your underpants. Eat a banana whilst staring at your crush. Just get yourself out of that rut.

 

Capricorn (Dec 22- Jan 19): Playing the blame game, huh? Guess what, you’re in control of the radio, you can change stations anytime that you want to. Think about it.

Aquarius (Jan 20- Feb 18): Ugh. May? What is it good for? Snoozing. That’s what it’s good for. So time for a little R&R… and a little R. Kick back with a little light reading and wait for better things in June.

 

Pisces (Feb 19- March 20): When was the last time you had truly mind blowing sex? Is it the sex or the mind that is a little dry and dusty? Figure out which one needs the work and get on it.

 

Aries (March 21- April 19): You ate too much chocolate last month. Yeah you did, you indulged your bad self. Time for a health kick. Grapes, mandarins, all things watery and sweet. You better refresh yourself before you wreck yourself.

 

 

 

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