June 2015 Horoscopes – by Mona ‘Star Child’ Alps

geminiGemini (May 21- June 20): Happy birthday Gemini. It’s going to be a wonderful month for you. Everything is full of the sparkly, birthday, adventure energy. Magic is everywhere and all you have to do is keep your eyes open in order to see it.

Cancer (June 21- Jul 22): This month has you so steamed up that you’re seeing red. Is it red with lust or red with anger? Only you can truly answer that. How about enhancing your red mood with a little scarlet reading?

Leo (Jul 23- Aug 22): The lion sleeps tonight. And indeed all of this month. At least that’s what you feel like your mind is doing. Don’t worry, it’s just resting, next month it’ll be energized and you’ll do something extraordinary.

Virgo (Aug 23- Sept 22): Mid-year madness has hit. Everything must go, including stability, holding on to false truths, and fake friends. Just don’t overdo cleaning house too much. Give yourself some downtime.

Libra (Sept 23- Oct 22): Libra leaps into action this month. Boots on, gloves on, brave face on. Think you need a little power anthem in your head this month. Go get ’em tiger, you can do anything.

Scorpio (Oct 23- Nov 21): Sexy Scorpio snuggles up under silken covers so scantily that it sizzles. Everything has you feeling the burn this month. Why not capitalize on the fire by embracing the INFERNO. You might learn a thing or two. 😉

Sagittarius (Nov 22- Dec21): Still feeling a little flumpy? Try lying back and doing some star gazing. Sometimes lying naked and watching the universe is all a person needs to really get the juices flowing.

Capricorn (Dec 22- Jan 19): Dance the way you feel. Dance like nobody is watching. Embrace life, enjoy every moment because next month is nose down, bottoms up, work work work. So make fun while the sun shines.

Aquarius (Jan 20- Feb 18): June is looking good for you. There’s water in the air, which mean lots of tears for you, but lots of them from joy or orgasmic passion. This is a great sex month for you. Explore if you can.

Pisces (Feb 19- March 20): Mind blown from last month yet? I think you need to pop a little smug smile on your face because some action is headed your way if you’re brave enough to seize it. Do a little inspirational reading whilst you prepare for some good times.

Aries (March 21- April 19): How’s your body feeling? Great if you did as you were told and had a healthy May, shocking if you didn’t. Have you been bad or good? I can’t tell. Either way you’re probably getting a spanking this month.

Taurus (April 20- May 20): You’ve over committed yourself this month and now you just have to ride that tidal wave of terror. Don’t worry you live. Only one thing will get you through this month… Bitching to your friends about it. A good bitch is always cathartic. Enjoy.

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May 2015 #Horoscopes – by Mona ‘Star Child’ Alps

TaurusTaurus (April 20- May 20): Surprise, surprise, you’re feeling a little bit stubborn this month. Normally I would tell you to pull your horns in, but, it’s your birthday. You get to carry on just how you like for at least one day this month, and don’t you let anyone else forget it.

 

Gemini (May 21- June 20): Emotions are running high this month. You’re hot and you’re cold and no one can quite figure you out. Not even you. Here’s the thing, it is okay to be confused once in a while. So just kick back, relax and read a good book.

 

Cancer (June 21- Jul 22): Nothing is so bad that it cannot be solved with a hot bath and a hot cup of tea. Time to soak the sooks away. May is your month of serenity, so grab an extra-large cup and meditate.

 

Leo (Jul 23- Aug 22): Bitten off more than you can chew? Of course you have, you’re a Leo. Time to swallow with a smile and pretend you meant it all along. Promise me you’ll relax next month though!

 

Virgo (Aug 23- Sept 22): Why so serious? Go outdoors, play a game, have lunch with a friend. Seriously, drop work for a minute and just do something for fun. Dance like you’re a kid.

 

Libra (Sept 23- Oct 22): Feeling a little blue? People not doing what you want? Time to hermit it up for a month. Just shut down, close your eyes and relax the month away with some spicy reading. People and problems can wait.

 

Scorpio (Oct 23- Nov 21): Relax. All I can say is relax. Sail away on a little pleasure boat in your own mind. Take a reading getaway and don’t sweat the small stuff.

 

Sagittarius (Nov 22- Dec21): Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. Sometimes even the most glamorous tasks get repetitive. Try something new. Forget to wear your underpants. Eat a banana whilst staring at your crush. Just get yourself out of that rut.

 

Capricorn (Dec 22- Jan 19): Playing the blame game, huh? Guess what, you’re in control of the radio, you can change stations anytime that you want to. Think about it.

Aquarius (Jan 20- Feb 18): Ugh. May? What is it good for? Snoozing. That’s what it’s good for. So time for a little R&R… and a little R. Kick back with a little light reading and wait for better things in June.

 

Pisces (Feb 19- March 20): When was the last time you had truly mind blowing sex? Is it the sex or the mind that is a little dry and dusty? Figure out which one needs the work and get on it.

 

Aries (March 21- April 19): You ate too much chocolate last month. Yeah you did, you indulged your bad self. Time for a health kick. Grapes, mandarins, all things watery and sweet. You better refresh yourself before you wreck yourself.

 

 

 

March 2015 #Horoscopes – by Mona ‘Star Child’ Alps

pisceswebPisces (Feb 19- March 20): Organisation, organisation, organisation and more organisation is the key to a happy March. So why not go out there and organise the greatest girls’ night of all time. Happy Saint Patrick’s Day to you!

 

Aries (March 21- April 19): Feeling the burn this month? Instead of throwing water on it why not fuel it? Highlight your considerable charms and let others be drawn to you like a moth to a flame.

 

Taurus (April 20- May 20): Feeling a little Bridget Jonesish? Don’t worry. March is the perfect month to curl up with a big bowl of salted-caramel ice-cream, your e-reader and indulge in a little erotic escapism.

 

Gemini (May 21- June 20): March is going to be an emotional month. Some good, some not so good. Remember adversity is only a chance to prove yourself and try something new. For those in a relationship perhaps that could mean something new in the bedroom.

 

Cancer (June 21- Jul 22): You snooze you lose. Simple solution, don’t snooze. Put on your red lipstick, a killer bra and go get ‘em tiger.

 

Leo (Jul 23- Aug 22): My, my, my, you are a busy little bee. Make sure you take time to kick back, relax, and read in your pyjamas. You can’t be super woman twenty-four seven so give yourself a bookation.

 

Virgo (Aug 23- Sept 22): Dare yourself to be daring. This is a month to try new things, eat new foods and read new things. Challenge yourself every day to be the most confident you yet.

 

Libra (Sept 23- Oct 22): Go get your power back Miss Thing! You are unstoppable, you are powerful, your are the Goddess. Whatever you want is yours in March. Put on your stilettos, those jeans that make your butt look good and get out into the world.

 

Scorpio (Oct 23- Nov 21): You might need to take matters into your own hands this month. That might mean in terms of work, leisure or sex. Only you can decide.

 

Sagittarius (Nov 22- Dec21): Somebody likes you. Ooooooo. You might not even know who, but trust me, you have been noticed. Why not celebrate this little fact by wearing your favourite perfume more often so that you can appreciate your own sensuality all day long.

 

Capricorn (Dec 22- Jan 19): Time to step out of your comfort zone and let off a little steam… or maybe even let in a little steam. March might just be your perfect month to heat things up in more ways than one.

 

Aquarius (Jan 20- Feb 18): Who’s on first? It should be you. Make sure you realise that in all areas of your life this month. Yes that includes the bedroom. Your needs come (pun intended) first.